Letter from the Penis|
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Letter from the Penis
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
- I do physical labor.
- I work at great depths.
- I plunge head first into everything I do.
- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
- I work in a damp environment.
- I don't get paid overtime.
- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
- I work in high temperatures.
- My work exposes me to contagious Diseases.
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the Administration rejects your request for the following
- You do not work 8 hours straight.
- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
- You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen Visiting other locations.
- You do not take initiative -- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
- You will retire well before you are 65.
- You are unable to work double shifts.
- You sometimes leave your designated work before you have Completed the assigned task.
- And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the Workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.