The wife says: We need.
The wife means: I want.

The wife says: It's your decision.
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious!

The wife says: Do what you want.
The wife means: You'll pay for this later!

The wife says: We need to talk.
The wife means: I need to complain.

The wife says: Sure... go ahead.
The wife means: I don't want you to.

The wife says: I'm not upset.
The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron!

The wife says: You're ... so manly.
The wife means: You need a shave and a shower.

The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights.
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient.
The wife means: I want a new house.

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